If you live long enough, eventually, you will be able to say you were at a football game where:
1. There was a stoppage because a squirrel ran on the field, and …
2. The fourth quarter couldn’t start because there was too much smoke after timeout pyrotechnics, but the referee announced it as “fog” as if a rogue weather front suddenly dropped in, and …
3. The crowd rushed the field with 16 seconds still on the clock, and everyone stopped to make sure thousands of fans got off the field just so the winning team could run a meaningless kneel-down play, and for some reason, the losing team stayed on its sideline through all this because protocol had to be observed during a game where a squirrel rushed the field.
It’s a totally normal sport and a totally normal conference where a school’s plane has to turn around because players are fighting (that was basketball, but it was Auburn, so it counts).
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Here are this week’s SEC vibes rankings, which as always are not a straight-up ranking of how good each team is but rather the feelings around each program. The highly scientific process evaluates wins, losses, momentum, whether a team’s fans are storming the field with or without pitchforks and just generally the vibes.
1. Ole Miss (8-2, 4-2 SEC)
Beat Georgia, 28-10
Last week: 6
Standing on the field at the end of Saturday night’s game, taking in the crowd, it felt a lot like Georgia when it finally got over the hump and won the national championship. Yes, I’m making that comparison. And yes if Ole Miss keeps playing like that, it might play for the actual national championship this year. Of course, this team lost at home to Kentucky, so you never know what’s coming around the corner.
But between this and the fact Lane Kiffin isn’t going to Florida, other than in two weeks as the Rebels’ coach, these are the best of times in Oxford.
2. South Carolina (6-3, 4-3)
Won at Vanderbilt, 28-7
Last week: 2
The Gamecocks are bowl-eligible with three games to go, two or three that are winnable, and the collective reportedly is putting together an effort to keep freshman defensive star Dylan Stewart. OK, we may have to see how the last one works out, but at least it’s proactive and a good problem for this program to have. Shane Beamer has things in good shape in Columbia.
3. Alabama (7-2, 4-2)
Won at LSU, 42-13
Last week: 8
Kalen DeBoer has quieted the whispers, at least until his next loss. Jalen Milroe and Ryan Williams again look like two of the most dangerous players in the country. Alabama is College Football Playoff-bound, assuming it doesn’t stub its toe.
4. Texas (8-1, 4-1)
Beat Florida, 49-17
Last week: 3
The Longhorns are again beating up on average-to-mediocre teams, and they’ll need to keep doing that, as Vanderbilt losing means there will be no ranked wins on the current resume. The brand name surely carries weight with the selection committee — eye test is the phrase it uses when it means brand name. But if Texas doesn’t run the table — at Arkansas, Kentucky, at Texas A&M — there will be legitimate concerns about whether it has done enough to belong in the Playoff.
5. Tennessee (8-1, 5-1)
Beat Mississippi State, 33-14
Last week: 4
In the category of things that only interest me: The last six Tennessee opponents all have scored between 14 and 19 points. That probably means this week’s game at Georgia will be something like 34-31 (the actual final score of the Georgia-Tennessee games in 2013 and 2016, which again only interests me).
6. Vanderbilt (6-4, 3-3)
Lost to South Carolina, 28-7
Last week: 1
Diego Pavia sued the NCAA on a Friday and a day later, Vanderbilt had its worst offensive output of the season. This is the first time in a while someone suing the NCAA has suffered a loss.
7. Texas A&M (7-2, 5-1)
Bye
Last week: 5
Two FBS teams have Aggies as their nickname — Texas A&M and New Mexico State — and they’re playing each other Saturday. Friends, when we say we live in the most interesting of times, we mean it. And yes, this is all we could come up with to say about this game.
8. Missouri (7-2, 3-2)
Beat Oklahoma, 30-23
Last week: 10
After a wacky ending — read about it here — Eli Drinkwitz proclaimed that Mizzou was right back in the Playoff hunt. That technically is true in the sense Missouri is still alive for an SEC Championship Game berth. But in the sense of deserving to be in the Playoff keep, in mind that Missouri played even with Oklahoma and needed a wild ending to beat a bad team at home. So let’s not go too crazy here with the vibes.
9. Arkansas (5-4, 3-3)
Bye
Last week: 11
This could be an important week for Sam Pittman. He doesn’t need to beat Texas but just keep it competitive. Florida keeping Billy Napier could be an indication that schools, in general, are holding on to coaches to save money for revenue sharing. Or it could be a sign to Arkansas that it would have the SEC market to itself if it feels the need. Pittman can show there’s no need. Because there aren’t any slam-dunk hot hires out there either.
10. Georgia (7-2, 5-2)
Lost at Ole Miss, 28-10
Last week: 7
The angst level is rising among Georgia fans. So how panicked should they be? Look, the Dawgs have real flaws, and I would not pick them to win the national championship. But they’ve played only three home games, and they’ve played four road games that were at night. This has been a grind, which has beat up this team physically and emotionally. The question is whether the Dawgs are cooked, or can they calm down during these final three home games and go into the postseason roaring? It could go either way.
11. Oklahoma (5-5, 1-5)
Lost at Missouri, 30-23
Last week: 14
There has been some fight from the Sooners in the past two SEC games, both on the road (the other was at Ole Miss). Maybe enough to think an upset of Alabama could happen after the bye week? At least it doesn’t sound as far-fetched as it did a couple of weeks ago.
12. Florida (4-5, 2-4)
Lost at Texas, 49-17
Last week: 12
So just to review, on Thursday, we were all set to pronounce the vibes just great thanks to the announcement that Napier was coming back next year. A justifiable decision met with not much pushback from the fan base. Then a day, later came news that the athletic director who made that announcement has issues with the men’s basketball program. Then a day later, Napier’s team got clobbered in Austin. So … yeah. There are “we can’t have nice things” vibes in Gainesville.
13. Mississippi State (2-8, 0-6)
Lost at Tennessee, 33-14
Last week: 13
The Bulldogs have a sneaky good week to be off, giving the coaches some free time to work on transfer portal candidates or possibly to generate a flu outbreak that can cancel the final two games. Whatever they feel needs to be done.
14. Kentucky (3-6, 1-6)
Bye
Last week: 15
It’s probably not a great thing this team has become a negative data point for Playoff teams: “Yes, Ole Miss beat Georgia, but it lost to Kentucky.” And “Georgia is so inconsistent, it nearly lost at Kentucky.” But hey, if the idea is to hear your name mentioned in Playoff discussions, then sure.
15. Auburn (3-6, 1-5)
Bye
Last week: 16
Last week: Is it basketball season, yet? This week: Yes it is basketball season, and the team plane is being rerouted in the air because players are fighting. Next week: Friends, do not say you weren’t warned about the hijinx at gymnastics meets.
16. LSU (6-3, 3-2)
Lost to Alabama, 42-13
Last week: 9
So look, Brian Kelly is still a good coach, and he’s putting together a strong recruiting class and all that fun stuff. But his team just got waxed at home by a rival in perhaps the most-watched game of the day. Kelly can be a polarizing figure, and he’s in Year 3, so people in Baton Rouge are fair to be wondering whether they got a good coach on the downside of his career. There was that worry when athletic director Scott Woodward, known for big-name hires, went for that name. Woodward hired Jimbo Fisher at Texas A&M, and we saw how that worked out.
The feeling here is it’s still premature to kick dust on the Kelly era, especially with all that talent coming in. But the fact that it’s being at least whispered is why for at least this week the Tigers and their coach reside in the vibes basement.
(Top photo: Justin Ford / Getty Images)
