Greg Sankey convened his daily meeting with the SEC media industrial complex on Sunday morning — a thing we are making up but maybe not — and began the meeting with a clear message:
All right, people. The mandate is clear: Get a fourth team into the College Football Playoff. We’re passing along several talking points for your social media posts and SEC Championship Game broadcast.
Got it, Greg!
Pretty simple stuff, denigrating the ACC and talking up SEC schedule strength, all the usual. OK, now go forth and denigrate.
Just one quick question, Greg.
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Yes?
Which SEC team should get that fourth bid?
(Silence.)
(More silence while thinking.)
Huh.
We can step in here and go through the contenders. Warning, this will sound a lot like a scene from “The Princess Bride.”
• South Carolina is the hottest team in the conference, having won six straight, including three ranked wins. But the two games it lost before that winning streak were to Ole Miss and Alabama. So you clearly cannot pick South Carolina.
• Ole Miss clobbered Georgia and South Carolina, and all three of its losses were by a mere possession. But the Rebels own the worst loss of the contenders and maybe for any team in the SEC: at home to Kentucky, which won only that one conference game. So you clearly cannot pick Ole Miss.
• Alabama beat Georgia and clobbered Missouri and LSU. But the Crimson Tide only last week lost by three touchdowns at Oklahoma, a team with a losing SEC record. So you clearly cannot pick Alabama.
The clear solution: Don’t pick any of them. (This is why we’re not invited to the daily meeting.) The other solution, which the CFP selection committee may go with: After evaluating the analytics, game film and schedules, go with the tried-and-true method of just picking the team that is Alabama.
Speaking of rigorous formulas, here are the final regular-season SEC vibes rankings, which as a reminder are not a pure ranking of the best teams. That would be silly. This takes into account expectations, the happiness of the fan base, outside perception and just the general vibes:
1. South Carolina (9-3, 5-3 SEC)
Won at Clemson, 17-14
Last week: 1
Playoff-bound? Maybe not. But did it just win at its rival’s stadium, again? Does it have an exciting quarterback and a really good defense, and they’re set to come back in 2025? Then the vibes in Columbia are sky-high.
2. Texas (11-1, 7-1)
Won at Texas A&M, 17-7
Last week: 3
After 12 years, it finally feels like it put its little brother back in its place. Now it gets a chance to avenge its one loss of the season. Bevo is back and strutting around. (At least for a week.)
3. Tennessee (10-2, 6-2)
Won at Vanderbilt, 36-23
Last week: 2
The Vols are safely in the Playoff, may even get a home game, and they have a week off to start preparing. They will be playing with house money: They were not one of the SEC’s top four or even five most likely picks to make the Playoff.
4. Florida (7-5, 4-4)
Beat Florida State, 31-11
Last week: 5
Before this season, just imagine saying that Florida went into Tallahassee, won by 20 points and “only” covered the spread by a field goal. That’s how far Billy Napier and the Gators have come. Well, also how far the Seminoles fell, but still.
5. Georgia (10-2, 6-2)
Beat Georgia Tech, 44-42
Last week: 4
This team could never win another game this season. Or it could win the next four. Who knows at this point? But it does seem vital to beat Texas because this team’s ability to play badly and still win seems unlikely to survive a four-game Playoff run.
6. Alabama (9-3, 5-3)
Beat Auburn, 28-14
Last week: 16
Last week: The program is a disaster. Kalen DeBoer is in over his head. Jalen Milroe is not very good. This week: The Tide are back in the Playoff? Next week: The DeBoer-Milroe vibes will depend on the goodwill of the selection committee.
7. Vanderbilt (6-6, 3-5)
Lost to Tennessee, 36-23
Last week: 8
For weeks we had been saying Vanderbilt’s vibes would remain high no matter what, but the way the last three weeks have gone have tested that theory. Still, momentum stalled is not momentum derailed. Progress is progress.
8. Texas A&M (8-4, 5-3)
Lost to Texas, 17-7
Last week: 6
The same rule applies here. Saturday night was a bitter pill, but being in the running for the Playoff and SEC championship this late in the season said a lot for Mike Elko. Getting to eight wins can’t be the goal, but that’s one more than last year, and this team was picked to finish ninth in the conference.
9. Missouri (9-3, 5-3)
Beat Arkansas, 28-21
Last week: 7
This team, meanwhile, was picked to finish sixth and harbored legitimate Playoff aspirations. There’s still a chance to win 10 games, but Mizzou went 0-3 against ranked teams and was underwhelming the rest of the time: It had an average margin of victory of just 7.6 in wins over power conference teams. Plus, Luther Burden may have played his final game in a Tigers uniform.
10. Ole Miss (9-3, 5-3)
Beat Mississippi State, 26-14
Last week: 13
It has the same record as Missouri, but it took a different path: a season-defining big win and a season-ruining loss. Plus, it had higher expectations, which aren’t completely off the table yet but are on life support.
11. Oklahoma (6-6, 2-6)
Lost at LSU, 37-17
Last week: 9
Hey, there will be a bowl game. Plus Oklahoma native and Sooner fan Kristin Chenoweth has a great cameo in the “Wicked” movie. (Or so we hear.)
12. Mississippi State (2-10, 0-8)
Lost at Ole Miss, 26-14
Last week: 12
The record is terrible, and none of the SEC games came down to the wire. But the Bulldogs stayed in most of their last eight games. (A home thrashing by Arkansas was the exception.) It’s not enough to provide much confidence the Jeff Lebby era will lead to anything, but at least it sets a low benchmark to meet in Year 2.
13. Auburn (5-7, 2-6)
Lost at Alabama, 28-14
Last week: 10
The bad news for Hugh Freeze: He should be on the hot seat next year. The good news: Just like Lebby, the way this season went will make it easier to show an upward trajectory. Next year, Freeze gets Alabama in Jordan-Hare Stadium, which could end up being his put-up or shut-up game.
14. LSU (8-4, 5-3)
Beat Oklahoma, 37-17
Last week: 15
Speaking of going into a hot-seat year … Jimmy Sexton’s phone may not be blowing up this cycle, but he’s charging it up for the next one.
15. Arkansas (6-6, 3-5)
Lost at Missouri, 28-21
Last week: 11
Technically, the Razorbacks exceeded expectations: They were picked to finish 14th in the SEC and finished tied for 11th. Yay? It was against another tough schedule, and they were largely competitive. The question is just of expectations and where Arkansas sees itself in this bigger and tougher SEC.
16. Kentucky (4-8, 1-7)
Lost to Louisville, 41-14
Last week: 14
Anywhere else and with any other coach, change probably already would have been announced. Mark Stoops has built up enough credibility that if he wants to come back, he probably will. But it just feels like it might be best for both sides if that didn’t happen.
(Top photo of LaNorris Sellers: Isaiah Vazquez / Getty Images)
